Larsenphd Publications

                           SALES PITCH

          This is an advertisement for a self-published e-book; and I know what you're thinking:  if it's so great, why haven't the big publishers or agents picked it up?

        You assume publishers know what you want; but do they?  Do you enjoy plots that get lost in endless discussions of the protagonist's passion for cooking,  antiques, sports, or other subjects that may or may not interest you but have nothing to do with the mystery you thought you were purchasing?  Do you like to hear about the protagonist's messed-up personal life for several chapters and how maybe--just maybe--solving this crime will pull them out of it? Are you so sure some of the mysteries you're reading that are '"so much more than mysteries, that are literature" don't simply put in heavy-sounding passages that are interesting neither as literature nor entertainment simply to disguise all the padding because, of course, you want longer books these days?

     Not all mysteries are this bad.  There are a lot of books that stick to the plot; and even some specialty writers--Dick Francis (horse racing), Simon Brett (theater), and Jonathon Gash (antiques)--manage to squeeze in their intererests without slowing down the story; but if agents and publishers know what we want, why are so many mysteries bogged down by irrelevant side-issues?

     Don't you like stories about figuring out whodunit that are pretty much that with just enough character and setting to make us see and care about what happens?  If you don't care who killed Roger Ackroyd,  why would you want to read a book about it at all?

                     HARD SELL

   (Those of you who aren't quite sold, but are willing to check out the product--take it for a test drive, so to speak--can skip to the next part.  This is for you stubborn ones):

     You may not read a lot of mysteries; and of course, a lot of  products (or a political candidates) are sold by making the competition look worse than it is.  Let's take an example you're more familiar with to show that the media--publishing, television, movies, etc.--are gravely ignorant of what you really like.

     Let's take the movie ENCHANTED. We could use THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT,  MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING,  or BORAT; but this is the most egregious example.

     The film opened in theaters  November 21, 2007; and has earned, as of February 14, 2008, $125,769, 808; and at the showing I attended--and who knows how many others?--the audience applauded, unheard of for a 21st Century film.

     But when awards season rolled around, the only nominations for the film were two Golden Globes:  Amy Adams and one of the songs.  (Both lost.)  USA TODAY printed two set of lists: those that would likely be nominated for Oscars and those that should have been. Neither list included ENCHANTED.  One publication went further, mentioning Amy Adams's Oscar potential:  "voters may find the whole animated-princess thing too lightweight."

      And they apparently did; but tell me, you spenders of $125, 769, 808, does that reflect your collective opinion?

      Or you may feel that another 2007 film was unjustly overlooked.  Doesn't the argument apply equally to that one?

     And if television understands what we want, why hasn't there been a Golden Age of Television, when watching the tube was a thrill, for at least fifty years?      

      If the Hollywood Foreign Press, the Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences, the entertainment press, and the television industry are so out of touch with you, the viewer, why assume the agents and editors who run publishing understand any better what you, the reader, really wants? 

     Do you see how someone who bypasses agents and editors might understand what you want better than they do?

FOR THE STILL SKEPTICAL... 

     Two things you may wish to study before making you decision.  Both, due to technical difficulties I am still working on,  will have to be sent for at:

james@drlarsenbook.com *

  There is an attachment for the first three chapters, which certain agents and publishing houses use to determine whether they will consider the novel; and who  is better than you to consider whether you're going to buy it?

(Ignore the address in the attachment, which was composed in 2003.)  

     There is an attachment for the plot summary.  Two things to understand about this:

 1) RECOMMENDED for those who don't understand how the two plots--Sally Irons-Mary Royce and Dennis McCarthy-Chuck Henderson-Mr. Joseph--fit together and would be reluctant to purchase the novel until they did.

2) NOT RECOMMENDED for those who have never enjoyed PSYCHO as much after knowing everything about Norman and "Mother"--or who would prefer coming across in the story what's given away on the jacket.  I tried to give an idea of the plot without revealing too many surprises; but if I'm going to summarize--oh well

         [  *There is no automatic link to:

            james@drlarsenbook.com

        I have discussed this with YAHOO numerous times.  They have said there wouldn't be one for reasons too complicated to explain.  After a great many frustrating talks with them, I must ask you to  write the  address on a piece of paper, go to COMPOSE, and request the Opening Chapters and/or the Summary and to order the book for which you will be sent an invoice.  I apologize for the inconvenience.  As this enterprise makes money, things should improve dramatically; and according to some who have already read the book, it is well worth any minor inconvenience.  Thank you.]

 

   Don't forget to specify the e-mail address you would like the novel sent to, just in case you're ordering it on an office computer and might not like it  sent  there.

     If you order the novel, you will be sent a $10 invoice.

       I would appreciate hearing from you regarding:

     1) Whether you would prefer the novel in standard book form.  I will e-mail you if a traditional publisher decides to provide such a book.  Warning: the price may be considerably higher.

    

           2) Comments when you have finished the novel.  In a perfect world--at least, from my point of view--all the comments would be favorable.  In this one, not only can't you please everybody; but potential publishers who fail to see ANY  negative comments might distrust thepositive ones.  (But do try to keep the negative comments ot a minimum--okay?)        

      3) And wait  at least until you've read the novel to delete this website, which you might wish to forward to your friends  (E-books  need all the support they can get.)

     One more thing you should know:  your novel will come to you as 13 e-mails.  If this jams your mail-box too much, just down-load them. (Just remember that copyright.)  This is in response to the oft-voiced complaint that it's uncomfortable reading an entire e-book.  Read it in sections and it's almost like having a computer book-mark.

(And if you accidentally delete, a replacement section will be sent--no extra charge.)

      I'll be waiting to hear from you.    

 

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